THE CLIP CLOP CLUB RIDE AGAIN!!!
6TH BIG YEAR, SAME GREAT SHOW
WHERE? AT THE GEORGE PUBLIC BAR
Every Saturday Arvo, 4.30-7.30.
FITZROY ST, ST KILDA. 4.30-7.30.
Ph: 03 9354 8822 (and ask for Goober)
WHEN IN MELBOURNE, YOU'D BE A MUG TO MISS US!
CCC News Tuesday - 13/07/2004
Red headed guitarist Chris Harrington was talking to Brian Mannix (bon vivante, raconteur, man-about-town and former lead singer of The Uncanny X-men). Chris said “Brian, our gigs are getting too blokey. The chicks at The GPB come to the top of the stairs, look in at a mass of middle aged men, then turn and walk out again. What do you do when that happens at your gig?”
“I’m not sure, Chris”, said Brian. “Let me think.”
Brian thought “Play ABBA in the breaks”, said Brian. “Chicks love ABBA and blokes who are walking past will think it’s a gay bar.”
Thank you, Brian. It’s ABBA all the way between sets for us from now on!
The Following may be disturbing to some!!!
More great news! My prostate is in magnificent shape. Yes, having passed that 50yo milestone it was time for the check up. I was at the urologist to have my testicle looked at (another story). He was a spivvy kind of urologist; short, grey haired, dapper in his pink shirt and braces and blue bow tie and quite spry. Bet he does marathons, that kind of guy.
“Now, I’ll just check your prostate , Gary. Roll over and face the wall and if you could just bring your knees up toward your chest”.
I rolled over.
“Have you had this done before?” he asked.
“No”, I replied.
I was expecting a sort of gentle insertion of the index finger and a bit of a feel around but that’s not how it works, brothers and sisters. That finger was rammed up my arse at a hundred miles an hour and it was out again in half a second. The sound of a rubber glove being ripped off and by the time I’d rolled over he was sitting back behind his desk as if nothing had happened.
“Did the earth move for you?” I asked (I didn’t really. I’m nowhere near that fast).
“Your prostate’s terrific”, he said.
Now I wondered about his method and at first I thought “Oh, that’s very good. He knows how unsettling it is for male heterosexuals to have another bloke’s finger up their arse so he does it as quickly as possible to limit the embarrassment. Later as I walked home it occurred to me that he was just getting out of the way as quick as he could. I’ll bet that he’s been belted by blokes who felt that finger going up and couldn’t handle it and lashed out at him! He was making sure that he was well out of the way before I’d even had a chance to think of lashing out.
Thursday -
(29/04/2004)Howdy there Clippers and Clippettes. Your old saddle pal $tretch Denholme reporting in with the latest in Clip Clop Club news.
What adventures we’ve been having! Big Jim and I were driving home from market with a big fat sow in the back for our annual slaughterin’, sausage and ham curin’ day when a flash flood caught us unawares at the causeway and the ute got washed down river. I managed to save the pig but we’re still not sure what happened to Big Jim. I last saw him clingin’ to a big, old log and getting swept towards Deadman’s Falls. Guess that means more ham and sausage for the rest of us back home at CCC Station.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Me ‘n’ the boys had a whale of a time at The National Folk Festival in Canberra over Easter. Top Festival! 30,000 people! 900 performers. More fiddles and banjos and squeezeboxes than you could poke a stick at and didn’t they love us naughty boys from The CCC. We did 10 shows in 8 days that week and saw a whole lot of great acts and great music.
My favorite spot was The Session Bar which was maybe the size of a soccer pitch and every night hundreds of people in there were drinkin’ and scratchin’ away on their fiddles, pluckin’ on their banjos and strangling their squeezeboxes. It was great and like nothing I’ve ever heard or seen before. You just found some people playing something that you liked and joined in!
People are so good natured and helpful. You know how at festivals, late at night, the young folk are usually pissed and rowdy and fighting in the street and generally making dicks of themselves in front of all the old folk. Well, at The National Folk Festival the young folk get pissed, stay friendly and sing and laugh and play music with other young folk or even with the old folk. And some of them are the best looking, teenage girl fiddlers you ever saw. Many of them can really play too.
The Slim Dusty Tribute Show was a triumph for The Clippers. We had 10 minutes performance time and wandered on stage to find that only Howdy’s guitar, my vocal and Jim’s vocal were working. I started padding, filling in time till the equipment was sorted out but we knew we were in trouble when the stage manager scuttled onstage and banged Wesley’s DI (direct input) box on the floor a few times to make it work. It didn’t. There was the beginning of a sense of panic among the boys but ol’ $tretch had it all under control…
“Big Jim”, I said, “You were around when Slim’s career was just starting. Do you have any memories of Slim?”
Big Jim thought for a few seconds.
“I met a bloke once who told me he was Slim Dusty but he wasn’t”, said Big Jim. Well, there were about 5,000 people in the tent and they all went very quiet as they pondered Big Jim’s marvelous memory of Slim.
“Thanks for sharing that with us, Jim”, I said.
By this time we had to do something so I introduced our first tune and we did it with one guitar and two vocals. Wes' and Howdy's’ vocals were gone, Wes’ guitar was gone, Graeme’s keyboard was gone, Carl’s drum was gone and K.D’s bass was gone. This was a blessing because he’d used an unfamiliar tuner and tuned it up all wrong!
We did a song written by a friend of ours, Drew Easton. He’s written hundreds of songs, hardly any of which have ever been performed in public but we heard one he wrote called “Slim Dusty’ and really liked it so I asked if I could sing it and Drew was rapt to have The Clippers doing his song.
Here are the words…
Bought an old record at a garage sale
Cheap as chips but gees I love it Slim Dusty
Lights on the hill for Bent Axle Bob
He’s a real workhorse, truckin’s in his blood Sang Slim Dusty
Chorus:
He’s a true blue aussie mate
Play’s guitar and his songs sound great Slim Dusty
He’s a true blue, fair dinkum aussie
Golden voice that never gets rusty Slim Dusty
Well I played that record and I learned every song
Till the mirrors got misty and the road got long Slim Dusty
Travellin’ Country Band, yeah I think they’re grand
And the pub with no beer? Well, I hold it dear and you Slim Dusty
You’re a national treasure, I can see
You make me proud to be aussie, you do Slim Dusty
Almost there, now we’re on the home run
But ridin’ this road with you’s been fun, its true Slim Dusty
Well, the tent went crazy and we learned later that Joy McKean (Slim’s missus) who was a special guest at the show was very touched and wanted to meet us afterwards but being the slack bastards that we are we’d wandered off so missed our chance to shake Joy’s hand. Bugger!
Well, the gear still wasn’t working but we did Lights On The Hill (Joy wrote that one for her hubby) and the crowd went nuts again. They wanted us to come back and play it again as an encore at the end of the show but like I said we’d wandered off.
Still, a top gig, a top festival and a top Easter!
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
My latest hit song “I Moved In With Wayne Carey (and me missus moved in too)” Keeps on getting longer and longer! As long as our elite athletes continue to make assholes of themselves it’ll just keep growing. Here’s the latest update…
I MOVED IN WITH WAYNE CAREY
I moved in with Wayne Carey
Me missus moved in too
Gary Ablett moved in next door
Now I think I’m in the poo
Me wife’s got a smile like a crocodile
A grin like a Cheshire cat
Sam Newman’s rented the bungalow
Bill Clinton’s in the upstairs flat
She’s encouraging me to get out more
Have a few beers with me mates
She said she doesn’t mind if I come home blind
As long as I come home late
When I got home the other night
Justice Kirby was baby sitting
While Wayne and me missus were kicking goals
And Wayne wasn’t thinking of quitting
Oh no, she’s just started to moan
I think Shane Warne is on the phone
And I reckon I might be in strife
Cos Darren Millane’s come back to life
And he’s over there talking to my wife
This must be as bad as it gets
‘cause Robbie Waterhouse is taking bets
John Hopuate’s put his hand up
And Peter Filandia’s going nuts
I’m telling you folks this aint no joke
Here come 6 Canterbury Bulldog blokes
And I reckon she’ll wish she’d never been born
Cos there’s 2 more from The Melbourne Storm
And Steven Milne and Leigh Montagna
Even David Beckham is thinkin’ of baggin’ her
Pat Cash can’t remember shaggin’ her…
I moved in with Wayne Carey
And me missus moved in too
……………………………………………………………………………………………
Adios amigos till next time we meet!